Announcing the Grand Opening of the Draper Center for Couples and Families. For those of you needing counseling in the south end of the Salt Lake Valley – we opened an office for you. We are quickly becoming a resource for struggling couples and families throughout America – with offices in Utah, Texas, Arizona, Florida and Delaware.
Come and see how we can help you and your loved ones heal your relationships.
Though there is still some debate among researchers about the effects of pornography use on individuals, research has consistently shown that regularly viewing pornography can have negative effects on relationships—particularly if one’s partner disapproves of said pornography use. Sometimes, negative effects sneak up on a user and shape the way he or she views the world, without them even realizing it. Many of the following experiences hold true for both men and women who regularly view pornography, but for simplicity, we will focus mainly on the effects on men:
- Physical sexual dysfunction.
Since pornography is most frequently a solo sexual experience, when it comes time to engage in relational sexual experiences many men struggle to perform optimally due to the desensitization pornography has caused. There are many reports of pornography-induced sexual dysfunction which often leads to emotional problems and tension in relationships.
- Women may be portrayed as objects.
Since the majority of pornography portrays men as dominant or sexually coercive and shows that women enjoy this dynamic, pornography users tend to believe that this is realistically what they can expect sex to be like with their partner. Unfortunately, this sends the message to women that they should act like objects who aren’t supposed to feel pain, whose desires don’t matter, and who should have strong positive emotional responses whenever a man wants them to—regardless of how they really feel.
- Lowered satisfaction with sex… (read more)
Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness
I’ve never been punched in the face. Not in an actual fight, at least. I’m not much of a fighter, I suppose… more of an “arguer.” I don’t think I’m “scared” to get into a fight, necessarily — there have been many times I have put myself in situations where a physical fight could easily have happened.
I just can’t see myself ever being the guy who throws the first punch, and I’m usually the kind of guy who DE-escalates things with logic or humor. And one of the things about being that sort of person, is that the other sort of guy — the sort who jumps….(read more)
In generations past, issues of faith and spirituality were often deferred to clergy and chaplains. It could easily be argued that psychology, as a discipline, has maintained a reputation for reducing issues of faith and belief to mere symptoms of other issues, thereby discrediting the significance and importance of the subject matter itself. However, things are changing. Ironically, as Len Sperry from Florida Atlantic University recognizes, “[Today], more individuals in various cultural contexts are increasingly seeking out psychotherapists and other practitioners, rather than ministers or spiritual guides, to deal with these concerns or foster their spiritual growth and development.” (Sperry, 2014) This calls for a new breed of psychotherapist. One who is not only skilled in matters of psychological, emotional, relational, and cognitive health, but also one who understands the various theoretical approaches to religious studies and the ethical implications of such for their clients.
The subject of spirituality has recently experienced a resurgence of supporters within the discipline of psychotherapy. Mindfulness techniques have become essential pillars used in such third generation behavioral therapies as dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT). Integrative health models will often include spiritual health alongside emotional, mental, social, and physical health. But what exactly does spiritual healthmean? What place does religion, belief, faith, and spiritual practice have within a therapeutic setting? And what role can a therapist serve regarding such issues?
Spirituality is such a deeply personal and subjective concept that many mental health clinicians pay little to no attention to it in therapy (except perhaps briefly asking one or two questions while completing a “psychosocial assessment”). And it’s not their fault. Chances are, such clinicians have had little to no formal education or training on issues of religion, existentialism, or spirituality as a whole.
As a marriage and family therapist by training, I am reminded every session about how my personal experiences, biases, and values affect the therapeutic relationship and overall well-being of my clients. When I am looking for a therapist to refer colleagues, family members, or friends, I look for the following three qualities:
- A licensed professional with an appropriate level of education/training to treat the particular issues bringing the client into session.
- Someone who authentically recognizes the limits of personal biases (we all have them).
- Someone who empathically collaborates with their clients from a place of acceptance and compassion.
When working on issues of faith in a therapeutic setting, the same applies. If you are interested in working through issues of faith or spirituality with a therapist, I also recommend the following suggestions: Take your time to find someone you feel comfortable with, and who simultaneously challenges you to grow. Be clear about what you are looking for in therapy. Perhaps it’s wanting to learn how spirituality paired with therapeutic techniques can bolster resiliency. Perhaps you are experiencing feelings of shame and perfectionistic tendencies which can be counterproductive to living the life you want to live. Or perhaps you or a loved one is experiencing a crisis of faith and you need the support from a nonjudgemental, yet knowledgeable, third party. Whatever your needs, find a therapist who you feel understands your journey and is comfortable exploring such sensitive issues with confidence.
*Please be sure to check in on the next article in this three-part series, where we explore the qualities which help define spiritual health, and five benefits of integrating spirituality with psychotherapy.
originally published by Utah Valley Health and Wellness Magazine
Listening sounds easy. But it’s not. Real listening takes effort and skill.
Listening isn’t passing the time until the speaker runs out of things to say. Or mentally finding fault with the speaker’s argument so you can shoot down their logic. Or waiting for the speaker to take a breath so you can interrupt. These kinds of listening patterns can create a small war!
Therapists use a technique called “reflective listening” that can be useful for everyone. Reflective listening is different from the communication styles you grew up with (unless you are the child of psychotherapists), and is built on four main principles:
- Reflective listening is present in the moment. When listening, you don’t let your mind wander. You stay present with the speaker and give her your full attention.
- Reflective listening uses aligned body language. A reflective listener takes approximately (read more)
March 16, 7:00pm @ American Fork Library.
Marriage therapist Kenneth Jeppesen will condense 40 years of marital research and teach you how to have a happier marriage. His last presentation in Orem on this topic was standing room only. Come early to get a seat!
Join us in welcoming marriage and family therapist DANIEL COLVER to the Spanish Fork Center for Couples and Families.
He specializes in COUPLES therapy, FAITH-BASED CRISIS counseling, ANXIETY and DEPRESSION treatment. He is currently working on a PhD specializing in integrated healthcare.
Interesting fact about Daniel – he was an AERIAL GUNNER in the U.S. Air Force! He takes that same courage into the counseling room to help you battle life’s difficulties.
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We’ll prove to you that the results, our ethics & our standards for exceptional therapies & services will go above and beyond your expectations. Guaranteed.