CCD Smiles: One in a million

I am the only one in my family with CCD (Cleidocranial Dysplasia), which was a random mutation. Having CCD influenced my studies and career choices. I have always been fascinated by the body, genetics, and helping others with physical or emotional health problems. I started my career as an emergency room registered nurse. I did my Master’s thesis on CCD and then went on to obtain a Doctorate in Nursing Practice (DNP) degree. I have been a nurse practitioner for the past 14 years, working in family medicine and mental health. My background in medicine helps me better understand CCD. I want to share my experience and medical understanding with others.  

I was born in Reedley, California in 1975. When I was born, it was obvious to my parents and doctors that something was wrong. My body, mostly my head, was shaped differently than a “normal” baby’s. At 3 months of age, I was diagnosed with Cleidocranial Dysplasia. 

I grew up knowing I was different. The most difficult part of CCD was all the oral and facial surgeries. My baby teeth never fell out on their own, my permanent teeth didn’t grow in on their own, and I had several extra teeth which had to be surgically removed. Everything in my mouth had to be done manually. I started having oral surgeries at age 7 and I spent most of my Christmas, Spring, and Summer breaks undergoing surgery. My last major surgery was when I was 19 years old. 

 CCD dental treatment was not easily navigated. My dentists, orthodontists, and oral surgeons had never treated anyone with CCD. Everything they tried was experimental. 

Medical insurance and dental insurance did not cover the cost of my surgeries. Medical insurance considered my teeth problems to be dental. Dental insurance considered the surgeries cosmetic. My parents were paying for my surgeries until I was in college. 

When I was growing up, I didn’t know anyone with CCD. In 2001, technology helped me to connect with other people with CCD for the first time. I heard about other people’s experiences as I conducted phone interviews for my Master’s thesis “CCD: The lived experience.” Eight years ago, I met Steffani and her daughter Hally, who have CCD, for the very first time. 

 CCD Smiles 

I felt inspired to create a nonprofit organization to help others with CCD. I started working on the foundation in 2013. In 2016, Gaten Matarazzo’s dad contacted me. Together, we made CCD Smiles an official IRS approved nonprofit organization in January 2017. Since it’s official beginnings, we have had gatherings and fundraisers across the country. I have met 38 other people with CCD, which has been a tremendous blessing in my life.  

 Gaten Matarazzo, from the series Stranger Things, is a huge part of bringing awareness to CCD. As his popularity in Hollywood has grown, so has familiarity with CCD and CCD Smiles.  

CCD Smiles is still in its infancy, but you can go to www.ccdsmiles.org to learn more about us and watch us grow! Currently, the website is a place for donations, purchasing CCD swag and education about CCD. In the future, the website will be a place where those with CCD can connect, share pictures, exchange stories, and find hope. I want others to know they are not alone. It will also provide current and accurate medical information, written in plain English. Doctors, dentists, orthodontists, and surgeons can come together and discuss treatment, research, and options for their patients. 

As CCD Smiles grows and donations are made, we can help cover the costs of oral/facial surgeries. If insurance isn’t going to help, then we can. I don’t want the medical/dental expense to keep parents from being able to provide beautiful smiles for their children. 

My ultimate dream is coming true. July 13-15, 2018 will be the first national CCD conference in Salt Lake City.  Watch the website for more information. If anyone is interested in donating time, money, or talents to this event, please email me at kellywosnik@ccdsmiles.org. 

CCD Smiles Mission Statement: We bring global awareness, provide assistance for dental care, and support research to improve outcomes and quality of life for individuals with cleidocranial dysplasia. 

CCD Smiles can be found in the media and on social media— Instagram, Facebook and Twitter (@ccd_smiles, #ccdsmiles) 

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness Magazine

Sport Climbing in Utah County

If you want to get into sport climbing, Utah County is the place. Between American Fork Canyon and Rock Canyon you have two world-class climbing areas that have a large range of climbs, from beginner to some of the hardest in the world. Rock Canyon alone has over 400 climbs. If you include American Fork Canyon and other climbing areas in Utah County, you have over 1000 climbs to choose from. You could spend a lifetime just trying to climb everything in Utah County! 

What is sport climbing?  

Let me answer that by explaining there are two major types of rock climbing: sport climbing and trad climbing (traditional climbing). Sport climbing is a style of rock climbing that relies on permanent anchors fixed to the rock for protection, usually drilled and glued bolts and anchors. Trad climbing is a style of rock climbing in which a climber (or group of climbers) will place all gear required to protect against falls, and then remove it when a passage is complete. Sport climbing has a cheaper cost of entry and takes less time to get out and climb. It’s a great alternative to hitting the gym, if you do it 2 to 3 times a week. Can you say full body workout?! 

How is sport climbing classified?  

The rating (degree of difficulty) or grade of climb is designated by a class number. A class five climb would require the use of rope, belaying, and gear to protect the climber from a fall. Fifth class is further classified by a decimal and letter system, increasing in difficulty as the number gets larger. The degree of difficulty can be broken up from 5.0 – 5.7 for beginners. Most anyone can start at these ratings and have a good time. 5.8 – 5.9 is where most weekend climbers become comfortable; they employ the specific skills of climbing, such as jamming, liebacks, and mantels. (If you get into the sport you’ll learn these terms pretty quickly.) At 5.10 you have to be a pretty dedicated weekend climber. 5.11-5.15 is in the realm of experts/pros; it demands dedicated training and natural ability, not to mention a crazy obsession for the sport. 

 What kind of gear do I need to sport climb?  

At a minimum, you’ll need climbing shoes, chalk bag, harness, belay device, a rope and 8-10 quickdraw. You will also want the app MtnProject. It’s a great way to find the climbs and get beta (information) about the climb. Two local shops where you can obtain gear, beta, and lessons are Mountain Works in Provo and Out N Back in Orem. 

 Which climbing area should I choose?  

Both American Fork Canyon and Rock Canyon have beginner climbs, but the bulk of the beginners start in Rock Canyon. The climbs are shorter and you can top rope them to test your chops for the sport. Some great beginner areas lower down in Rock Canyon are Tinker Toys and The Appendage. Further up the canyon is The Wild—hands down the best crag for beginners. For intermediate and advanced climbers there are climbs ranging from 5.10 to 5.13 all along the canyon. Some of my favorites are Black Rose, Bug Barn Dance Wall, and The Zoo. 

 American Fork Canyon is known for lots of overhanging “juggy” (pockets) and harder climbs that get you pumped super fast. Some standout areas are The Membrane, Division Wall and Escape Buttress. For some of the hardest climbs, checkout Hell Cave, with a mind blowing 5.14. People come from all over the world to climb this canyon. It’s hard to go wrong with either canyon. Get out there and give it a go! 

 

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness Magazine 

Intimacy: The Missing Piece.

Have you noticed it? Something in your relationship seems to be missing; waning with time. You are happy, you and your partner seem to be working well together, but something is missing. Or perhaps you are not happy, you and your partner seem to be fighting more than not, and there is just something amiss. You can’t seem to put your finger on it.  

Intimacy 

It is a possibility that the something missing in your relationship is intimacy. Before discounting this as nonsensical because your sex life is fine, take a look at what intimacy is. Dictionary.com defines intimacy as “a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving relationship with another person or group.” Pay particular attention to the words close and familiar. How close or familiar are you with your partner in areas such as their work life? Their hobbies and interests? Their emotions? Their aspirations?  

Becoming close and familiar or intimate with your partner in various areas of life will bind you tight and keep you together through the throes that life would put you through. Building intimacy will fortify and strengthen your relationship.  

Types of Intimacy 

Physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and leisure are all areas that come to mind when speaking of intimacy. When was the last time you grabbed your partner’s hand to reassure them that you are there? What are your partner’s intellectual interests? Can you talk about them or show interest in them? Have you shared something with your partner that struck you spiritually? Would you feel awkward doing so?  

Just like investments, diversifying your intimacy will make your relationship more resilient in a slump or a recession. Building new levels of intimacy in new areas may be what your relationship needs. 

Building Intimacy 

In our world, things that are not cared for, tended, and kept up will erode over time. It is the natural order of things. This is also true of intimacy. If intimacy is not cared for, cultivated, and kept up regularly then it will naturally erode, and you may find yourself feeling distant from your partner and not knowing why. This is part of the experience of couples “falling out of love”; they haven’t cultivated connection and familiarity.  

As a couple you have the power to keep this from being your story and/or the power to bring that part of your relationship back. Intentionality is what will help you change patterns from erosion to firing on all cylinders and being a thing of beauty. Be intentional about becoming close and familiar with your partner in the many areas of their life.  

Sometimes it may feel like you just don’t care about what happened at work or what project your partner wants to work on next. If you can be intentional about showing interest anyway and showing some curiosity about their interests, their hobbies, their work life; you will find yourself feeling closer to your partner. You will be more connected. You will bind yourself to your partner emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and in any other area of your lives that you find will build intimacy.  

Taking Action 

Have you noticed it? Is there a distance between you and your partner? Does it seem like something is missing? Make the move, be intentional. Go with your partner on their walk. Set up a date that isn’t the usual thing you do together. Take fifteen minutes after getting home and find out about your partner’s day. Meditate with your partner and talk about the experience. Talk with your partner about how you want to build intimacy; intimacy that will keep you close and together through thick and thin.  

 

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness Magazine

 

Coming Out – Part 2 Parental Self-Care

When he told me he only had crushes on boys and thats why he never dated, I started crying. 

My son told me not to tell his father that he really feels like a girl. Did I let him play with girls too much? 

I asked my daughter why her best friend identifies as lesbian, and she told me she thinks she may be one too. Im sure she is not. 

When teens come out, the world shifts. Some parents respond with denial, wanting to diminish the news. Others feel anger and want to find out who is responsible. Some parents feel sadness, anticipating a loss of shared values, a loss of future. Denial, anger and sadness are all important aspects of grief processing, and for many parents, responding to a child’s coming out is a grief experience. 

Most children talk with their parents only after years of trying to figure out what is really happening inside, and when they finally tell parents, those years are condensed into a moment that – to a parent – may feel like a dropped bomb. 

After listening to hundreds of stories of parents responding to their children’s expressions of attraction and identity, I’ve seen how important it is for parents to take care of their own emotional health afterward.*  

Here are some valuable principles to keep in mind: 

  1. Take a break to figure yourself out. Denial, anger, and grief are expected. However, if your child feels overwhelmed by your denial, anger and grief, then healthy connecting may be more difficult. Many children “take on” their parents’ reactions and become more isolated. You may want to find another place and time to express and explore your genuine reactions. One mother told her child she loved him and needed some time to figure out her own feelings, and then she spent the afternoon at her sister’s home. Another father immediately called a counselor, reassuring his son that the counseling was intended to help the father provide healthy support for his son.  
  2. Remind yourself, “This is not a crisis.” One mother described feeling completely numb. Because Christmas was only a few days away, she felt both the pressure of the family’s expectation and the heaviness of the news. She found that repeating aloud the words, “This is not a crisis” reminded her that their family would still survive despite the new information. 
  3. It’s normal to feel more upset, even though your child may seem happier. While children often feel relief after sharing feelings with parents, your feelings may begin to resemble a roller-coaster. It may seem unfair that your child has just given you the burden to carry. Breathe through these feelings and recognize that this is normal.  
  4. Find safe people to share what you are feeling. Your child may insist that you tell no one. And although it’s important to honor your child’s sense of privacy, it’s OK to let your child know that you need to talk with someone. Perhaps you and your child can agree on a trusted family member, friend, or counselor. 
  5. Limit your contact with others who are uninformed. Sometimes well-meaning friends and family have advice that is not helpful, or that undermines your confidence in yourself and your child. It’s OK to limit your contact with these people for a period of time. Plan what you will say. “We are working hard to support each other right now and I need to focus on that,” may be helpful to repeat. 
  6. And finally, when you ask “Why me?” try switching to the question, “Why not me?” and see what strengths you find in yourself. Chances are you are being called to a deeper way of loving your child and yourself. 

SIDEBAR MATERIAL — Find a Parent Support Group in Utah County 

Find a parent support group. Meeting with other parents in similar situations has been a positive emotional turning point for many. Here are a few in Utah Valley: 

  1. PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meets weekly at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church in downtown Provo (provopflag@gmail.com) 
  2. Encircle Parents’ Meeting (Third Sunday of each month at Encircle in Provo) https://encircletogether.org/supportgroups 
  3. Northstar Parents’ Meeting (Quarterly meeting at a parent’s home in Lehi) 

https://www.lds.org/blog/navigating-family-differences-with-love-and-trust?lang=eng  

Next time:  Coming Out Part 3 – What do we do now? 

 

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness Magazine

 

Every Day is a Bonus Day: How a terminal cancer patient is inspiring others to live

My name is Melanie Day. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013, just a few weeks after I found out I was pregnant with my third child. I endured chemo, surgery, and too many ER visits, all while pregnant. I eventually gave birth to a healthy baby boy, and then continued more chemo, radiation, and surgeries. After a year and a half of treatment, I had my first clear scan and was so excited to be moving on with my life, free of cancer. However, in 2015, they found cancer in my bones and I was given five years to live.

My perspective on life completely changed. Suddenly, I wanted to do all those things I said I’d do someday. I wanted to go on that Mediterranean cruise with my husband. I wanted to be more forgiving and stop judging others. I wanted to speak more freely and openly. I wanted to make sure that people knew how I really felt, and that they knew that I loved them. I wanted to stop saving my money and instead spend it on making memories with my loved ones. I wanted to stop worrying about what I looked like or what others thought of me. I wanted to instead build people up, make them happy and excited about life. I wanted to learn to enjoy the chaos of a toddler house and to stop obsessing with having a perfectly clean house. I knew I had to make a lot of changes. And I was grateful that cancer was teaching me to wake up!

I’ve always been the person who saved all my pennies and never splurged on anything. I’ve said no to so many adventures because I wanted to save my money instead, or I didn’t think I had the time, or some other excuse like that. But cancer has shown me how important it is to make the most out of life NOW. Making memories with my family and to no longer delay my dreams are top priorities for me now. My family and I have made an effort to go on adventures this past year to cross off my bucket list items. We spent Christmas making memories at a mountain resort instead of buying our kids presents. I skied in Tahoe for a weekend with the Send It Foundation. We took the kids to Disneyland for a magical week, thanks to some generous friends. In February, the BYU and Duke basketball coaches surprised me with the number one item on my bucket list. They got us tickets to the UNC at Duke men’s basketball game, my ultimate sports fantasy. In April, I spent two weeks in New Zealand playing in the World Masters Games with my former college teammates. Just last week, we witnessed thousands of lanterns in the sky at the Lantern Fest in Salt Lake City. A nonprofit organization called Inheritance of Hope is hosting us this next week in Florida at Disneyworld, Universal Studios, and Sea World. After that, we will be in Lake Tahoe for a family reunion. I plan on going to Hawaii in November, Europe the next two years, and NYC in the fall of 2018. I’m sure more opportunities for adventure will arise and we will seize them. I’ve said “no” to so many of these opportunities in the past, so going forward, I’ll mostly be saying, “yes.”

Although this terminal diagnosis drove me into depression and anxiety of my unavoidable death, I eventually realized the importance of sharing my story so that I could help others. That is now my life’s mission. I want to help others see what I see, without having a terminal disease. I want people to ponder their own death and let that motivate them to live their life how they want to NOW instead of waiting until it’s too late. I want people to realize that every day is a bonus day.

 

Originally published on Utah Valley Health and Wellness Magazine

Written by Melanie Day

Now accepting SelectHealth insurance

We are excited to announce that we are now paneled with Select Health. This includes the following plans – Select Choice, Select Care and Select Med. Call us to set up an appointment today!

Utah Valley Health and Wellness magazine September/October 2017

Check out articles on health and wellness from our therapists!

 

We are giving away a TIMPVIEW HIGH SCHOOL ACTIVITY PASS! Like our fb page to enter drawing.

We are giving away a TIMPVIEW HIGH SCHOOL ACTIVITY PASS! 6 family members get into activities and sports events for Free! LIKE this post and our our fb page to enter yourself into the drawing. Pass is valued at $450. Good luck!

Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples: Healing and Creating Connections

All of us, from cradle to grave, are happiest when life is organized as a series of excursions, long or short, from the secure base provided by our attachment figures. – Dr. John Bowlby

Have we really cracked the code on love and romantic bonding? Perhaps. Scientists, poets, and lovers have long grappled with the question: “What makes romantic love work?” Through the work of Dr. Sue Johnson and the development of Emotionally Focused Therapy, it looks like we have an answer.

Through decades of research on the importance of emotional bonding and what it is like to feel disconnected, isolated, and alone, relationship researchers are starting to unravel the mystery of love and adult romantic bonding and how to mend loving ties. The truth is, we are all hard-wired to connect to one another. This drive to connect is infinitely stronger in family and romantic relationships. To be emotionally isolated is harsh on our brains. Loving connections offer us a safe haven to go to where we can maintain our emotional balance, deal with stress, and respond more lovingly to our romantic partners. Essentially, when those connections are secure and strong, love is safe; love flourishes.

Unfortunately, disconnections between couples do happen and frustration, sadness, and anger are all too common in marital relationships. When those secure and loving bonds are threatened, emotional “primal panic” and a cycle of negative interactions ensues. These wounds can be difficult to repair for couples when left to their own abilities, and therapy is often the last step before looking to end the relationship. Unfortunately, many well-meaning therapists utilize their individual-based, time-tested techniques and attempt to apply them to relational interactions, which usually has little effect in restoring their loving bonds. In addition, many therapeutic techniques focus on helping partners change behaviors or thoughts, or teaching them communication skills. The common result from these approaches and techniques is that they usually struggle to gain traction, and the couple leaves therapy with less hope than before.

But there is hope. Within the last 25 years, a substantial amount of research has emerged that gives hope to couples on the brink and helps them tune in to their underlying emotions, identify their negative patterns of interaction, repair their attachment, and eventually create new patterns of bonding and positive interactions. This model is Emotionally Focused Therapy.

Grounded in the theory of attachment, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an experiential, short term, structured, and tested model of therapy designed to help couples identify their negative communication patterns, interrupt this pattern, and create more positive, bonding, and secure emotional patterns. EFT does not see individuals as “sick” or unskilled, but rather “stuck in habitual ways of dealing with emotions with others in key moments.” As the title reflects, priority is given to emotion as a key organizer of inner experiences. EFT looks within the emotional experience of the couples and how they navigate their emotional connectedness. Dr. Sue Johnson has said, “The EFT therapist has a map. A map to relationships and how they work. A map to how they go wrong. And map to what is needed to put them right.”

A substantial body of research has shown promising results of the effectiveness of EFT. Research studies find that 70-75 percent of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. EFT is being used with many different kinds of couples in private practice, university training centers and hospital clinics, and many different cultural groups throughout the world. These distressed couples include partners suffering from disorders such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorders and chronic illness.

In my work with couples, EFT has resonated with them on many levels. No longer are couples focused on fights and long-standing disagreements about specific content or trying to change the other person. When couples go through the process of EFT, perpetual problems are framed as negative disconnections that are about protests by each partner for a more loving connection and emotional safety. EFT takes the blame out of conflict and resentment and moves to fighting together against a common enemy—the negative pattern. As couples progress through the stages and steps of EFT and begin to accesses deeper emotions that underlie their struggle for connection, a new interaction emerges as individual partners see and experience each other differently. When partners experience each other as more accessible, responsive, and engaged, old wounds and negative patterns are healed, and love and emotional safety thrives.

Originally published by Utah Valley Health and Wellness Magazine

Written by Dr. Jeremy Boden

Welcome American Fork couples therapist Tiffany Winegar, MS, LAMFT

 

New to the American Fork Center for Couples and Families team, Tiffany Winegar is taking new clients! She specializes in couples therapy, family therapy, anxiety/depression, self-esteem/self-actualization, perfectionism and teen/adolescent girls. Tiffany received her Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) from Brigham Young University, one of the top MFT programs in the world. Prior to, and during her masters program, Tiffany was mentored by world-renowned social relationships psychologist, Dr. Julianne-Holt Lunstand and worked as a member of her research team studying social relationships and health. In addition to her work with Dr. Holt-Lunstad, Tiffany has been involved in additional research in the field of health psychology including the study of stress and emotional regulation. She is passionate about applying the principles from her clinical training and research to improve the lives and relationships of her clients. Tiffany is a member of AAMFT (American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy) and NCFR (National Council on Family Relations). Tiffany grew up in Southern California and now resides in Draper, UT with her husband and two boys.